Some things about the internet

I have some things to say about the internet. Now, first of all, I am not computer illiterate in any way. I know my way around. I spend a lot of time on my computer/internet. A LOT. When Ian and I were on vacation in San Fran, the motel said that they had internet, but really they meant, “If you stand on a chair in the bathroom with your phone/laptop held towards the ceiling, you might get a slight signal”, and Ian was almost out of data on his phone, and I still had my pawn shop phone at the time, AND we had agreed not to bring computers on vacation so there would be no temptation for us to work (Ian) or waste time reading Cracked (me). So we had to ration the data for important things, like the GPS, yelp, and twitter, and we each got a little time on the internet, but then sometimes I would secretly use more, because…I wanted to and I have problems with impulse control, and Ian would be all, “Where is the data going??” And I would just look meaningfully at the nearest homeless person, and then Ian would briefly consider my suggestion that a random homeless person sleeping in a grocery cart was stealing our data, which, to be honest, is why I married Ian in the first place. He considers out of the box ideas.

Also, about a month ago the internet wasn’t working in my apartment, and I needed it for homework, so I texted Ian like 63 times telling him, because somehow he would magically fix the problem while at work except he didn’t (rude), and then I was like, “oh, I’ll just watch Netflix until I can get access to the router, they have a new season of blah blah” and then it dawned on my that NETFLIX IS INTERNET. And so then I cried a little, not because I cared about doing homework, but because I felt like something was missing in my life, and because I couldn’t access my e-books online? (Note: I have a Kindle and literally a thousand hard copy books)

Anyway, what I’m getting at is the internet is a freaky place. After a while in life, you get used to things, and some things are gross or weird but it’s rare that something shocks/terrifies you like the internet can.

A while ago I started asking questions about memes, like where do they even come from. And somebody told me that it all started with 4chan, and that the idiotic “anonymous” spawns from 4chan, so I got curious. What is this 4chan? Isn’t it just a forum? I decided to check it out.

It started out innocently enough, with me perusing some wallpapers of sexy unicorns, and then I came to the random board and found out that it is where evil lives, and I still don’t know how they are organized enough to do anything or how innocent things like memes come from there. NEVER GO THERE. If you already go there, then what is wrong with you, stop going there.

I wrote briefly of my experience on twitter, about how my curiosity got the best of me, and my friend responded by saying something along the lines of, “Some things are best left unexplored, like 4chan and hard drugs.”

She’s a very wise woman.

Did you know that there is a “frugal” subreddit? Great, right, except Ian discovered it, and now he thinks we should only eat uncooked rice and beans and weave our clothes from spare carpet fibers, and it is only encouraging his very blatant desire to grow up to be Thoreau so…that subreddit is dangerous for someone who doesn’t care about food or material possessions)(aka Ian)(not me)(I love both food and material possessions)(obviously). Also once Ira Glass did an “Ask Me Anything”, but I MISSED IT AND I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS TO ASK, like, why didn’t you come to my wedding, did you not get my invitation?!

Also I want to talk about some emoticons, and what I think when I see them.

:s – I am being completely honest. I do not know what this one means. Is it like, “oh my mouth is so snaky because I am displeased”, or maybe like, “this is how I wiggle my mouth when Im happy or devious”

8 ) – I recognize logically that this is just a creative smiley face, but I see a bow that’s covering most of the person’s face, and while that could have some interesting meanings, it is usually not the intent of the user. Usually.

;( – This is a winking pirate. Not very many people know about this one, because I made it up on accident one day. Spread the word. It comes in handy more often then you’d think. I’ve used it over six times today.  Yeah. This is the real deal.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about the internet for now, and I’m not even sure what it is I am trying to say, but I really should’ve spent the time I used writing this blog to do one of my final exams, but you can only stare at a computer screen trying to think of how to solve a lame problem before you want to cut your feet off and throw them at your sleeping husband.

4 thoughts on “Some things about the internet

  1. I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it to your wedding. I heard Ira Glass was invited, and I feel that it is completely unacceptable. :s

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